Take out the jokers and face cards, and tens are now zeros. It’s all fitting together like the pieces of child’s jigsaw! huh i didnt mean to do that, strange. You know how people always have weird names on the interweb? Now I won’t get that nervous eye twitch every time I see that symbol. i started typing NONSENSE. Bumpy things can make sounds! And you get a prize! I have asked close personal relations and he / she stated that “its probably some group of scientists or something in Wisconsin”. Yay! You could just read this forever. One. I will one day go back and make a dictionary / translation table for ? Piece of bread! has proof the the solvence of the illuminati (if you solve something, would it be called an act of solvence?) Baa ba— We inturupt this interuption to bring you back your regulary scheduled program. Many evil stares. Lets see… Oh, there it is! and remember… barbers are eevviill! Fast forward to the year 3018. I think it might be like a Twinkie or something)and twinkies(wow so is doesn’t really matter which is which because he eats both(i may have just done that so I didn’t have to Google what a fat cake is (right now I am typing on my iPhone 3gs anyway, which has a broken antenna so i can’t get internet anyway (it’s actually a really funny story that i’ll tell you sometime)))and sit in his man cave with his friend named Joe (an ACTUAL friend, not a fri end)and all Joe does is watch sports like football with bob and all bob does is gamble ferociously (don’t ask(it means he buys all those bags of chips that say “win a free monkey or something if you find a banana in your bag*”(if there is a little star it means there is fine print so I always check the back of the package) *flips over the package* okay, it says: “one of our workers accidentally threw a banana in the packing machine and we don’t want to get sued so we did this promotion thing” cool. Maybe I just need to calm down. Buy soopapill in your local pharmacy for free! Oh yes, anyway, I’ll have the fruit salad. What am I even typing about? As of 7-15-13. They’re like diaries but less boring to write and read. It started from episode 31 up until episode 53. So basically, you're screwed. When you are watching a movie (on DVD), don't you get pissed off when you see a preview for every movie made EVER and that takes like 90 years of your life and the rest is the ACTUAL MOVIE WHICH YOU WANT TO ACTUALLY SEE? Questions like this will be ignored throughout the entire course of this endless wall of text, since I don't even know what this has turned to anymore. Then all the brouhaha turned into World War III and Universe War I. Way back in the day, wouldn’t tides make no sense? Why would they do that? TURN DOWN THE BRIGHTNESS, KING OF RAINBOWFLUFFYSHEEP! I just found the degree button! section 12345679 (all the mathematicians are nodding their heads while the OCD people are twitching nervously in the corner) says that the king of oddly coloured farm animals does not have any obligation to write if a false piece of information needs a citation. sorry, i had to much sugar gotta go you know bro do. I don’t know what to do guys. Like unique currency? For twice the price! I’m back! Car pedals are so wierd because there is a brake, clutch and gas. In section 333 of the rainbow fluffysheep handbook it says that free pop-proof balloons will be sent to any hedgehogs in need. So we ended school. It’s that simple. Oh it seems our lines are down its too late. Ba bum. No what I think about it though, the moon pulling on the water is kinda even crazier than that. I haven’t trusted you with knives ever since you tried to butter your toast and ended up slicing Milly the Cat’s third whisker to the left. once your making money as an artist, enought o survive happily and feed your pets and help your family then you keep making art… why? im bringing it back to this analogy because i think its nearly identical. In Europe m&m’s are actually really healthy. I currently collect words, pins and the “to kill a mockingbird” series (not much work ( besides the fact that I have to give them (it) back to the library by tomorrow morning ( the last time I will ever bring a library book late again is when I borrowed the book entitled ‘How to sharpen a pencil for dummies’ (Don’t blame me! (Which is not a bad idea for my own website to get a lot of views (like I could a a tab on my website called “the best sites on the web! HAHAHA! Potato forces fought hard (wait actually soft) and launched a SURPRISE POTATO ATTACK! i really hope the former. I think I got it!] Wha-what? Nah just kidding, the SKR won. But this isn’t realllly about beating the record, it’s more about impacting the reader as a person. I forgot something. M.A attempted to regain control of the Smartboard we needed so very dearly much. why would you learn the guitar when an ai can play a perfect Tune? There is life! Welcome to our Basement Home Theater! so what The Writer did next was simple! (What the hooey is a preponderance? By the way, its my mother in laws 100th birthday today! There once was a cat. That was fun. Go go go!!] Literally. He always said all these great things about that weird sponge? I did. TAKE A WILD GUESS!!!! Thats probably why ‘they’ say that cheese is unhealthy an im only allowed one laughing cow a day! I dont hear them here. no. I’m on number five, but your on number six. They connect! website ever so if you are not glad with your experience send a note to 400 Ehhnopenope Dr, Jupiter 29394 and we will NOT refund it because 1. you didn't even pay for this, and 2. I’m not talking to myself. Email all the answers to me atrainbowflufysheep123@gmail.com, for a chance to win a response from me and a chance to tell me what you think of this site! whaoh piplup is really hard to write on a tiny qwerty keyboard! Why would you like to order, moisture? That’s only a million sentences! Wow, what a steal. You also look through the window to see a giant open room filled with twisted root from a towering tree in the center. What about canned tuna! Guys… I’ve changed alot ok… There’s new thing i gotta say… This is like a new year for me… Not even, a new era… A 2.0 on existence. I'm once again back. *ring ring ring* hey wazzup *whos this ahhaha ehehe* its your future self boi. Dat be da bomb – Tink about tanking me. i definitely didnt go backwards or else my rainbow fluffysheep laws wouldnt apply and id have to do caps still. { Joe: this is the best joke ever! What temperature would it be in Egypt? Wisconsin? You know those shopping carts at stores that cost a quarter? Then they conquered the United States. Hi, my name is jo. The colours of a rainbow are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet (oh no i was supposed to put an and there) indigo AND violet. I know, I know, what you are thinking now! In my young and untrained eyes I thought of sam as a threat, hiding around the corner with a water gun, ready to splash me with another 1000 words of texts just as I was about to pull ahead. UNACCEPTABLE! I don’t know, Flapper dress maybe that be it (20s style) hey dere ma-name JeFf… Hell Ome Ine Ame Isej oe hey hey hey! then i… umm… yea! Oh yea. I had the potential to be a new york times number one bestseller, topping the charts with my childrens books. Now that I think about it for a little bit, what IS an exercise balls intended purpose? It is a company which makes things like the little tabs at the sides of cling film boxes. Instead of a whole family eating a chicken, if they are all vegetarians, then they will probably kill hundreds of plants! you are a very loyal reader! No more trolls! Merci! Anyway, what did the rich (big) people do to the poor (not big) Egyptians around the time that the pyramids were built? I think we now have all the information we need to prove that the illuminati is real. Will it be cruddy or good? Are you in a car right now and you are bored AND its raining? According to Fermi Estimation, this is me. No italics, until now! autocorrect is on!! Life makes no sense. And in the summer the only thing we do is either stay in our houses or ride bikes which very few people do. what else should i talk about? * Actually [unknown], we have all been deeply moved by the actions these animals are taking. New FluffySheep Astronaut Suits are so tuff that you’ll never be able to eat through! Technically, since you’re talking to yourself your also interrupting your self. (if you can’t tell, they always write double-u double-u eye eye) wouldn’t it be more accurate to write WW11 or WW2? I’m going to try to make words using only the top row of letters. We cant figure out why; one cameraman suggested they were on strike against meat production practices. If one of you were to challenge me, I will mount my mighty steed and charge my lance into your face. And not just any old barn-wood planks, mind you, but a board of fine stained oak as the flooring in the White House. yes, this truly is a new era, the era of Epicness And Coolness! However, on the other hand, I may be coming back, though, to this forsaken place, where my ideas are dumped around in careless fashion, in a disorderly order which is again disorderly, in my room, on my computer. hereby declares that the sayings ‘easy as pie’ and ‘piece of cake’ are now changed to ‘easy as bread’ and ‘piece of bread’. (Public service announcement: this is an anonymous relative spakin’: *where is he? What is wrong with people! (Or wherever your exciting life takes you) 1. PLOT TWIST. But on it was handwriting… THAT I COULDNT READ. Perfect. (I betcha Tristan is salivating.) I’m just talking about random things just like the flaming chicken person does just to fill up space on the page. UMM… WRONG ONE… HEHEHEH… WELL LET’S TRY AGAIN: Food & Drink: Apple (crunchy) Artichoke (chew before you swallow!) is that really your friend, or is it a creepy stalker watching your every move? http://davidwboswell.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/potato_juice_large.jpg I can't even imagine the taste or smell of them! I just lost all my money, I’ll be in debt forever me my life is terrible now! Who insists? -6-21-2013- Hey. But the only thing is that I can't find either a colored horizontal line or a background color. Ummm… this is an earlepsy warning! Noooooo! That’s what they are trying to tell us! This is a short skit entitled: ninjas: explorers of time and space! -~*7-2-13*~- Haaay! {the room is filled with smoke and out of it walks a tall bearded man} hello there! everyone evacuate!! Warning: the reason you will not get sick is because you will die. It’s TRUMP) What? Hopefully you don’t care that your pillow is now heavy, hard, cold and poisonous. That means that all I have to do is replace every letter with a word. No. because in the end, thats all well have. Unfair! *Takes out a jerky*. It replaced Hero’s Come Back!! Even though we never had an original price. You know, Puup was also a whipping boy!!!! Good boiii. So that will make my name Kenneth Monica Jennifer Anastasia. I have a conspiracy theory! now I can give it to this NERD!! Then all the brouhaha turned into World War III and Universe War I. I use too many exclamation marks! YOU! oh guys i almost forgot to tell you! “can i have some French fries?” (I don’t know why there called French fries when I’ve never seen a French person eat fries! for now. The end of that. You know, Puup was also a whipping boy!!!! Genevoius still could not comprehendeth how much it meanteth to him. Every time I have to study for one language, I ALWAYS remember the word from the other language! I hope you do. I also do c++ and make things like search engines, text adventures and cookie clickers! the reason i tell you this is to make you appreciate the ties we are in now. Or you could just keep reading this, which is probably even MORE great. You know in racing games when there’s another vroom-vroom machine and he’s blue, opaque and always does better? Communists! And where are the rich buried? Yep, i guarantee you thats how it happened. this is why i think so. And if you take it off, what do you get. The sun will disappear, or if we want to not go extinct, just change its color to blue. that flaming chicken person? [poured granola into one bowl, causing it to be crushed under its own weight] do you have two hands? its about the story. bbbbbuuuuuuyyyy! Like there’s €uros, ¥en and £ounds. It is a hoax and a sham and a scam and spam and all that jazz ( I highly doubt that all of the times I’ll write the word ‘ghost’ in the future will add up to the length of this bracketry)). Well then you don't know me. Wanna help write the LONGEST TEXT EVER? As I said, it is a simulator for the Alerdintian War. In 10000, guess what... NO! (Semi-truck to that coal-on) anyway, back to the point: [ see you soon ]THAT IS JUST SO CREEPY! She’s so famous, that there have been books and movies made about her! And how do people repay me? (Now I know what you’re thinking, reader. Garlic juice: -6-21-2013- Hey. I’m back! We eventually conquered all the planets. I walk over to the living room to see if there’s any signs of a break-in, and sure enough one of my windows is open! You know, I did this type of stuff in the fourth grade, when I was ten, and amateurish. (Also, if they thought in that way, then bass tuna would be extremely perplexing because they are both fish). Wait. Think about it, your infinite supply or not hot fudge sundaes, your infinite supply of... PELEIONS! It’s easy, just put this code in an async function and call it from there” Well that is correct but it’s not going to work. The Fifteen Fighters. And now, a word from our sponsor. Gotta Go Bro Yo Know! As far as you know, a sub-reddit is just a burger at burger-galaxy (this is the cringiest sci-fi failure youll ever read). YOU? Like what I’m doing now. That was my conspiracy. Now I turned it into landscape and I feel so freeeeeee!!! (Now that in think about it, I started reading the longest text ever by ‘Sam’ (real readers will know who that is) when it was about ten years too! Another kitten, a fairly shrewd manx cat called ‘The Black Paws’ was hired by another cat, who has a large portion of KittyNibbles himself. I didn’t finish and I’m ashamed.. When we actually make challenges that we have to face OURSELVES, AND WE PAY FOR THEM! Alright lets just keepon going on and on and on and on.... *sleeping then wakes up* GOSH DARN IT DON'T WAKE ME UP. I’m sure glad I’m now a hedgehog! But if you have, here is proof. Nice to meet you, my name is senseinohi, but that’s sensei to you. That’s enough about my CrAzY life. Ba ba baa baaa. Hey, I have a n ickname for our class! Random fax! man its gonna be hard to put this LoTeEv back in chronological order to get it to you reader, but ill try my best. Pie is really hard to make. As you know, recently president Lincoln (ARGH! It has that perfect flavour, time after time! anyways, im just gonna pull out my code files and learn how to go to a new fifth dimension. It’s been a REALLY long time (like a week). And do I got stuffs to say! It was the ugh im so sleepy right nao;p34tigrwj4gt3oqhwerioaejohu4wejom 7ws6yn††††††††††4ewfiagiaefgkwh3rwqidjkiljk2ewuhg4ejfklviynurbejvwnachubujnegrfwdasjmihnj˜ghrb vvgb *wakes up* Heh? 5. he finishes eating his cheeseburger (more like horseburgher(I learned that word from the merchant of Venice(which is a good play(if you can understand it(I can cause I got a special book with all the words in readable English written on the side of the page(which is kinda funny because Shakespeare was supposed to be a good poet but no-one can understand him(and he’s racist in act 2 scene1 of the play too))))))) and sits down beside you , like you are old pals (you’ve never met him before but he looks like he could be in some weird cult) he clears his throat and asks you a very personal question. Well stay tuned for them someday. BUCKLE UP YA SEATS! Think about THAT, people! !” If you both want to rule with hate , just hate each other equally so this can be over with!!!! Well at least I do ;). wow! Oh and Happy 2014 suckers!! And there’s no artificial additives either! And do I have an exciting subject for you! its not even white or black like you would expect, but its more… nothing. When was the last time you cried? Using only words. The Turnips United attacked, saying they were "the better vegetable". I will try to rein-act it as accurately as possible. Ahhh, not a big deal, I will easily get one using software’s that generated automatic usernames. It looks so cool too. maybe this is how earth was created? Sorry for the delay guys but I have migrated my site over to geocities.ws and I haven't had the time and feeling to write another paragraph. I WAS ONCE A HAPPY BOY, AND THEN HHHEEE STARTED TALKING!!!?!?!?! Simple contact forms, brief but clear “about” sections, and scannable “features” callouts – to name but a few – are leading the way in consolidating content into a single page. Ack. Most cats thought that this was impossible. You see, 1 isn’t considered a prime number! sometimes i think that as The Shepherd Of The Sheep Of The Future i sometimes need an escape from my own reality, so I’ve made a tunnel in which i can travel to a blank universe or travel back to this one. an intruder! Puzzles. it always gives me nightmares! I’m going to type something about politics to sound super cool. with big companies monopolising on everyone, buying other companies and merging, the chances for starting you own company is fleeting. [now, i know what your thinking reader, that has nothing to do with anything. Yea, that’s right, palm TREES!!! -~*5-20-13*~- UPDATE: There's gonna be a new writer and editor of the Longest Text Ever! therefor I am kicking you out Bzzt* A portal opens in the floor beneath our antagonist and he is sucked out into space Hey guys I’m back now! I like falafels because they are good, and they are good because I like falafels! And the NEXT day he went up to him and said he must have brought the camera back, or else he would be hiding in the trenches of Afghanistan!!! I think that they’re bushes or something. And I just thought of something great. Isn’t cereal actually a soup? ShamWOW! The SKR was just recently defeated in the Battle of Potato. Puup eventually made the paperclip in an hour or so. Now, if I really want to win, all i have to do is double the amount of words. Avocado (replaces banana in cookies) Banana (replaces avocado in guacamole) Beef (burger) Beetroot (gotta good beat) Bun (for burgers) Burger (for buns) Cake (i’m gonna bake a caaake) Cantaloupe (an orange melon) Carrot (an orange banana?) I’ll have the fruit salad. This may be the most random and longest (did I forget to say this is gonna be long?) Jam (not from grapes) Kebab (okay, bob) Lemon (sour orbiter (or bitter)) Melon( a green cantaloupe) Mince (beef/pie) Nut (he’s crazy!) Do YOU like stuff! I’m back! just a thought. but it will come in handy someday (maybe)] sam makes me feels sick! Some people say that doesn’t count. I have officially declared him a class 10 Noob. Photo Post Fri, Mar. Today the world will be DESTROYED! I’m back! Weird stuff, right? Skinning them would probably be worse then killing them. Reason 3. Why is orange so popular? Um yes, you? Guess who won. Here goes: So, as everyone knows, the illuminati is represented by the pyramid with an eye in the centre. this is looking to be the longest text ever, considering that this was all written in one day. Ba bum. DUCK FEATHERS. now watch a few ads. Fin. Also, adults always say stuff like “lookie here, cabbage is a new superfood!” “Howdya know ma?” “It what they say nowadays” “what time is nowadays ma?” “1945” (coincidentally the same family apparently) but who’s ‘they’ think about that, and listen to how often people say that. Or even that in 1812 a war happened that doesn’t affect me today! That makes no sense whatsoever! Lets just say i got a… Higher Calling. I just came back and I do not remember doing that. How could you be so – dense – ation! The thing is, the puppet of Joe is made of two mats stuck together, but there is a problem. Pure weekend. Swipe from the left to the right on the bottom of the screen. A high-quality, name-brand, box-not-bag topic! your sure to find the videos made by lumberpile(close enough))))) they taste so bad you throw up everywhere! Thunk about it. You would get squished with alot of walls. And THEN You get 100 people to give you @100 each and you don’t pay them back! I meant ‘pow do gill hamma (hammer) king turd’. Another one of my BRILLIANT ideas gone down the tubes. Let's continue about the Battle of Potato. Now that I think about it, during the time I made that rant about half a dozen loathing, I could have listened to the first THREE notes of crazy frog (Duh DUH duh. I was just thinking, I need complain about my life more. After what they watched, we did the Harlem Shake and Gentleman. There is a haircut called “meet me at McDonald’s” that is BANNED where I live. and once we get to that point, the hedonic treadmill kicks in. Noooooooooooooooo — Yep. (We did that by adding so many additives that instead of adding it to the taco, we were technically adding the taco to the additives). Anyway, I prefer the Redstone side of things (Redstone means wiring and stuff). Feminists rule! That could be the most expensive fruit salad ever! These simple-looking websites are a godsend to me. i scrolled for what seemed to be an eternity, and i finally got to… are you ready … arial black. Ugh. My mind is literally blown right now. “Hey, now you’re being sexist to males! Now the population has 4,000,000,000,007. So we ended school. Teenagers need violence in their lives! So deep that Adele's rolling in it. Idaho sucks because there is nothing to do. I want this to really change your perspective on life, and maybe make you want to do one of these too! And that’s why I didn’t do construction in school (and because I wasn’t good at it). HA, GOT EM! (But that was only two, Harold. I need to come up with other things that I do randomly… Like the rainbow fluffysheep hanbooks challenge booklet subset! Remember the fishermen from before! And now gentlemen and ladies, I will prove once and for all that the illuminati … Is real. I may come here to write about stuff, of course, boring stuff. Find out next time on “deer or no deer!” (Remember forehead sweets) oh no! there u go. yanilavigne:-Tiffany William (via ispeakquotes) 709 notes Comments. In the end, the universe gets confused, and tells us a message: universe.exe has stopped responding. Cleopatra. Now you guys don’t have to worry! Be the 7.8×10^9 customer to order to get a free home with your choice of a happy meal toy! Well that was easy. for example:.//p//text() Share. have you ever wanted to buy something from your local shop instead of amazon because you wanted to support them, rather than a large cmopany? Don’t you remember me! What a great job. Has anyone printed this LoTeEv off? I’m back! free from the prison cell i call the boundaries of untrue info. ” wait anonymous audience member say that again! Sorry dude, but PREPARE TO BE THROWN INTO THE SIXTH DIMENSION, YOU DIRTY RASCAL! try it! MY ATTACK PLAN IS READY!) Makeshift beercan pinhole camera accidentally captures 'longest known exposure' Published Dec 17, 2020 | Jeremy Gray. I have a conspiracy for you guys today! Yes, writer, that is a good awesome cool convenient and simple idea! Do you think that water parties breathe? Pie (not from grapes) Pineapple (the apple from the pine tree) Pizza (pi*z*z*a) Quiche (pronounced keesh) Radish (doesn’t it look cool dude? How do you know what it was about, I never said anything, strange. Just so I don’t get sued, I am now informing you that those pieces of information were sourced from a well-designed, helpful and informative website currently named dictionary.com. Anzel Anzel. The reason I think owls are dumb is because I HATE when people say half a dozen. Turns I can type a lot of stuff. Come to the dark side, we have cookies! And they don’t tell you anything about The Writer’s life. (yes, that is what i said, bear with me here) i hereby DECLARE that every piece of American soil must be covered in vineyards. Nah let me talk about Maine. and, since all i said was (partial) truth, it will be a great era. Why a great idea! you know those homeless people that sit on the ground and ask for money? That was it. Please lets see… Contents… It says the contents page is on page 1… Wait – WHAT?!?! Baiii! Do you remember when fidget spinners were all the rage? Hah! If want to get the best topics, I must climb mt.Big. Maybe Maine will be punched in the face by all the other New England STATES. So actually pillows are what keep me awake at night. ][wait… What? This web editor is soooo much better than Redkid's webpage builder. we had bacon, ham and chicken but no turkey. OWLS ARE TRYING TO MAKE US DUMB! If donate ?5 to this company, or $4.815162342 (i hope those dollars dont get LOST in the mail hehehe) then you can save a turkey from strep throat. Follow answered Oct 25 '14 at 17:35. I am eternally grateful to all of you who decided to think that this place was worthy of a stopover in your journey throughout the internet and dank memes. Bob might not believe that the two stuck together mats are really Joe, because he isnt sitting on his favourite mat. — … APRIL FOOLS!!! You guys have moisture in this restaurant? I didn’t care. In section 18o25g02i22 it states that anyone, not only the king of the oddly colored farm animals, is allowed to spell color without a u! (I mean, if you want). 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